En's Ant Joke

A joke from my quirky niece: 4 ants line up in a single file, all facing the same direction. The 1st ant says, "3 ants are behind me", the 2nd ant says, "2 ants are behind me", the 3rd ant says, "1 ant is behind me", and the last ant says, "3 ants are behind me"...why does the last ant say that???

Ans: They are in a circle?
Reply: No, they are in a straight line.
Ans: He is the # 1 ant?
Reply: No, he is the 4th ant.
Ans: ‎The last ant changed his facing to become first ant?
Reply: No, there is no change in the direction they are facing.


Real ans: The last ant is lying.

Justin Versus Simon

Jerrie (9 year-old): Jackie, do you like Justin Biever?
Jackie (5 year-old) shakes her head.
Jerrie: Do you like...Taylor Swift?
Jackie shakes her head again, then asks: Do you like Simon Says?
Jerrie: ?????

Kids expects adults' impossible

Jackie started playing games on the computer since she was 3. Now 5, she seems to have brow-raising expectations of what technology can do! This is what she did - while enjoying a colouring game on the ipad, she touched the screen to pick a colour and then looked at her finger to check if there are any colour transfer before proceeding to use the coloured chosen to fill a particular part of her picture on the screen.

I will become a good girl!

Jackie: Jie (sister), you know, I am not baptised yet.
Jerrie: I know.
Jackie: When I get baptised, Jesus will take away all my sins, and I will become a very good girl!
Mum: Jackie, why did you say that, who say you are a bad girl now?
Jackie: Jie and Mummy always scold me, so I think I am bad.

An Eye for an Eye

Mum in a reprimanding tone: Jerrie, don't bully Jackie. She may not be reacting now, but when she grows older, she is going to do the same to you! Then you will be sorry!

Jackie listens on...

Weeks later, after many of the same episode and chiding.

Mum and Jackie waiting for the lift on their way to the childcare. Mum noticed the lift has opened only when it was about to close. She tried to keep the lift open by pressing the lift button, but the door continued to close and finally left. Noticing a couple was inside the lift, Mum commented, "So terrible, didn't even botther to press the lift button from inside."

Jackie on hearing that, said in jest, "Nevermind, mummy, next time, we will do the same to others!"

Is it egg or bread?

Mummy cooked fried eggs for breakfast.

Jackie: Mummy, you guess how I choose my fried egg?
Mummy: The one that is the smallest?
Jackie: No.
Mummy: One that looks most browned.
Jackie: No.
Mummy: The one that is the least browned?
Jackie: No.
Mummy: Okay, how do you choose?
Jackie: The one that comes with the smallest piece of bread.
Mummy: ???!!!

I am surprised too, dad!

On their way home from childcare one evening...

Jackie, big-eyed, looking up in great anticipation of an answer: Daddy, you guess what I got for my spelling test today!

Daddy: Ha, 5 upon 5!

Jackie: No, only 1 upon 5.