Jokes From Mum

Mum shared these jokes with Jerrie and boy, she loves them!

Joke 1:
Do you know the story about the three wells?
Well, well, well.

Joke 2:
Do you know the secret about the butter?
I better not, because you might spread it.

Joke 3:
Do you know the story of the tall wall?
I better not, because you might not get over it.

Joke 4:
I won't tell you the story of the blunt pencils. Do you know why?
Because it's pointless.

Joke 5:
What is a deer with no eyes called?
No I Deer.

Joke 6:
What is a deer with no eyes and no legs called?
Still No I Deer

Joke 7:
A ninety year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor's office, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory.

After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down, making notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.

Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?"

He replied, "To the kitchen."

She asked, "Will you cook me a bowl of instant noodle?"

"Sure."

Then his wife asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"

"No, I can remember that."

"Well, I also would like some mushrooms in it. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that," his wife said.

"I can remember that, you want a bowl of instnat noodles with mushrooms."

She replied, "Well, I also would like some prawns in it. I know you will forget that. You had better write it down."

With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down, I can remember that." He went into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes, he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of toast and two half-boiled eggs.

She stared at the plate for a moment and said, "You forgot my coffee."

Joke 8:
Three old ladies are sitting in a cafe, chatting about various things.

One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down."

The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn't remember whether I was going to bed or had just woken up!"

The third lady smiles smugly, "Well, my memory's just as good as it's always been, knock on wood," she says as she raps on the table. Then with a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?"

My Mum is a Clown :o)

Mum: Jackie, can you remember last Mothers' Day at Sunday School, where the kids were asked to pick an object to represent their mother? Chloe chose a flower and said her mum was as pretty as a flower, an Indian boy chose a tiger soft toy and said his mother was as fierce as a tiger, and hahaha, you chose Nintendo and said your mum always played with you.
Jackie: Cannot remember.
Mum: Okay, but what would you choose now to represent your mother?
Jackie: A clown.

弟子规

Mummy: My goodness Jackie, you can actually recite the 185 verses in 弟子规! Who taught you?
Jackie: 王老师 and 李老师.
Mummy: Oh.
Jackie: Mummy, 夏老师 is very rude to her parents.
Mummy: Huh, what makes you say that?
Jackie: Only 夏老师 has never taught us 弟子规 before in school. I think she doesn't know 弟子规. So she must be very rude to her parents.
Mummy: Huh?

Mummy's Notes: No idea what 弟子规 is? Haha, I too had no idea before Jackie started rambling about it. It's a famous ancient work by 李毓秀, Li Yue Xiu of the Qing Dynasty, written during the Reign of the Emperor Kangxi (1661-1722). Di Zi Gui (弟子规), in English, means "The Standards for Being a Good Student and Child". Also known as "Students' Rules", it is based on the teaching of the great Confucius that emphasises on the basic requisites for being a good person and guidelines for living in harmony with others.